Archive for business communications – Page 3

Whose Contagious Emotions Are Making You Sick?

Emotions are a funny thing. They’re highly contagious entities that can truly make or break the success or enjoyment of each day. Your brain is in constant observation mode, taking in information and creating the reactions that lead to ongoing communications with the people around you.  Negative emotions are one of the largest predators of effective communication. While it’s natural to mirror the emotions or attitudes of those around you, it takes a conscious effort and awareness to avoid letting them drag you down.

Do you have one of those friends or siblings that (bless his/her heart) is just the biggest bag ’o downers you know?You’re not alone. They manage to catch you at the wrong time, place or mood. You know they’re gonna ramble on and on about all the terrible things happening in their lives, though they’ll never do anything to change them. Even if you’d previously been having an ace of a day, you finish that conversation and feel… SICK. That’s Emotional Contagion.

What about the folks that are consistently accusatory, paranoid or downright mean? That stuff tends to wear off on those in close proximity. Much as viruses travel swiftly and without control, toxic emotions (and the people that bring them) have the ability to pass along their negativity.  Interactions with these folks leave us with the emotions they experience, whether exhausted, angry, depressed or frustrated. Once focus is compromised, so is the communication or negotiation at hand.

The good news is that by becoming more aware of the emotional contagions around you, you can control your own reactions and limit the negative stimuli. Relying on direct, concise statements and unwavering decisions will keep your messages on track, regardless of the toxins that make you sick.

Are You Listening to Me?

Are You Listening?

Strengthening your skills in listening is the foundation for ensuring that you “get” the exact message people are communicating to you.

Listening involves taking the responsibility to actively participate in receiving and “decoding” information you receive and is just as important, if not moreso, than delivering the information.

Everyone likes to talk about themselves. In order to effectively LISTEN, you need to be open to provoking the stuff they want to share with you. Consider asking the WIIFM (What’s in it for me) questions…

  • What are the challenges you’re facing?
  • What is the most important thing to YOU about this project?
  • What would be your most desired outcome?
  • How can we both help make this work for you?
  • Tell me about why you reacted that way?

Gaining insight to someone else’s point of view, whether at home or in the boardroom, can create your ammunition and strategy for the positive outcome you both seek.

Some more tips on getting the most out of your conversations:
  1. Avoid competing for response time. Don’t focus on getting a turn to speak, but rather on understanding where the other person is coming from.
  2. Always ask for clarification when you do not understand what has been said. Take the responsibility for not understanding – never blame a mis-communication on someone else’s ability to send the message correctly.
  3. Be on the lookout for the opportunity to gauge & assess body language and non-verbal cues. These are clues to better understanding where someone’s coming from.
  4. Don’t jump into the conversation if someone briefly pauses for effect; make sure they have finished communicating their point before you comment on it.
  5. Try minimizing how often you interrupt by saying “Oh me too!”. While this does create a connection with the speaker, if done too frequently it may also be seen as an attempt to turn the focus back to you.

Do you use your two ears and one mouth accordingly, as the old adage says?

The Conversations in Our Head

“Nothing was ever so unfamiliar and startling to me as my own thoughts.”

~ Henry David Thoreau

The brain is on a constant mission to process the information going IN and coming OUT in order to communicate any given message at any given time. Not only do we need to remember that intended messages become lost in translation between recipients but that some of our confusions come directly from the thoughts running ramped through our own heads!

Let’s take the example of someone offering a simple compliment. In the moments before our mouth opens and we form a response, the following thoughts might course through the brain;

  • What a fake…I knew I couldn’t trust that guy!
  • They’ve gotta be fishing for a return compliment…
  • I bet she’s buttering me up because reports are due today!
  • I’ll just blow this off…poking fun of myself could be seen as humility.

And so on, and so on.

What with all this converging and provocative internal dialogue, it’s a wonder we ever finally mutter “Thank You”, truly the only response necessary after a compliment.  To understand how we can better communicate with others, we should first identify our own communication delays and roadblocks. After all, how is anyone expected to comprehend us, when our very own messages are uncertain, ambivalent or unclear?

How often does your internal dialogue force you to fudge an appropriate response?

Try these 4 Tips on squelching internal dialogue;

  1. Listen to the WORDS someone has said, not the TONE. Do not assume added meaning.
  2. Reply ONLY to what someone has said to you, not to what you think they may have meant.
  3. Leave judgment out of what you hear. You don’t need to AGREE with what someone has said in order to reply.
  4. When your brain says, “Huh????”, admit to the lack of understanding. Ask them to REPEAT the message.

Communication Breakdown

The Theory of Communication states that the cycle of expressing and understanding a message occurs at four intervals;

  1. Encoding occurs when the sender determines how to send a message.
  2. The sender then conveys the message either verbally or nonverbally.
  3. Decoding occurs when the receiver interprets and determines its meaning.
  4. The response in which the receiver reacts to the sender happens last.

Social psychologists estimate that there is usually a 40-60% loss of message meaning between sender and receiver. Can you imagine? That means that about half the time we think we’re being clear with our messaging, someone else doesn’t agree. According to the steps above, there are four different places within the communication process where a misstep or a ‘break’ occurs. It’s a wonder any of us are able to converse at all!

How many times have you screamed in frustration because someone JUST DIDN’T GET what you were saying?