It’s the day of our Nation’s independence and celebration abounds. Funny how it takes a holiday to remember that our freedom wasn’t always an entitlement.
We’d long ago been given a beautiful gift of exercising the right to say what we think. The potential problem is that, far too often, we tend to do exactly that. Say what we think, instead of saying what would make us sound stronger or more direct. “Aren’t we supposed to say what we think in order to be direct,” you say? Sure. But hear me out…
Your brain has an inner dialogue that speaks to you long before you choose the words that escape the mouth. I urge you to consider that some of these initial thoughts/dialogues between you and your brain should stay there, rather than audibly display any doubt, uncertainty or insecurity. By uttering those first fleeting sentence starters, you virtually hand over the control of the conversation to the listener, allowing them the opportunity to accept or dismiss what you’re saying.
To be truly direct is to make an independent statement that is not subject to qualification. Holding back on the weaker sentence starter gives the rest of your message the power it deserves.
In honor of the first 13 colonies who made their direct statements of independence, I offer you a quick list of 13 examples. These sentence starters kill your verbal independence and give the power of your speech to the listener;
- If you don’t mind, I’ll….
- What I was thinking was…
- I’m not sure about this, but…
- Don’t you think we could…?
- I’m hoping it’s OK to …
- Why don’t we try…
- Maybe you’ve already thought of this…
- I know it sounds strange, but…
- For lack of a better option…
- I’m wondering if …
- May I ask a question? (Just ask it for Pete’s sake)
- Anything starting with the words “Well,…” or “Um,…”
- Anything starting with the combination of the words “Well,…” and “Um,…”
How often do you find yourself using a weak sentence starter, even though you are clear on what you intend to say?